I’ve always been better at writing
What seems like a long time ago (probably 11 years now I think) a good friend of mine had a fairly well known blog and I always thought that was just the coolest thing. At the time there wasn’t a lot of online help, such as Squarespace, for those of us who have no idea how to code a website let alone care to learn. But what I did love is that he had a place to voice his opinion, share life experiences and send them out into the world without all the noise and bull shit of social media. Now, I’ll be the first to admit the social media has its place in the world and I love Instagram with a passion. To say that I don’t start my day staring at my feed for 20-30 minutes would be a total lie, it’s my favorite way to wake up on a Saturday/Sunday morning while the house is still quiet and the dog is asleep next me on the couch.
The title of this first blog of what may or may not be many is titled “I’ve always been better at writing” because when I really need to get something across to someone it ALWAYS comes out better when I can type it. Whether that is text or email, or on rare occasion a physical letter (GASP!) if it’s a serious conversation then the written word is my best friend. If I try to have a serious conversation with anyone face to face Ill inevitably throw in some humor or sarcasm or put my foot in my mouth. This does not make for constructive communication with the important people of my life.
So what important conversation am I trying to have now?
I thought I would take a moment to better explain why I hope that HMR will become a business that will allow me to achieve my dream of early retirement from my life as an engineering manager. One thing I’ve always envied about the famous craftsman of the last 50 years or more is that they never stop because they love what they do. People like Sam Maloof and George Nakashima kept creating and building right up until they passed on. Sure they may have slowed down a bit but that’s okay, they were still out in the shop making something. That’s the dream I think, find something you love and don’t stop doing it. Retirement is for people who maybe liked what they did enough to make a good amount of money then they stop working and more often than not wonder, “what the fuck do I do now…..?” I would like HMR to get to the point where I can spend the second half of my life building and creating. I’m currently 41 years old and I think maybe I will slow down at 82 but those who know me best would probably disagree with that statement. Ha-ha!
That’s the first reason…..
The second reason is how my life was up until a couple months after my 32nd birthday. For as long as I can remember I struggled with this feeling that I wasn’t good enough or I wasn’t smart enough to do the things I wanted to do. I started playing drums around 9 or so and I got okay, at least good enough to say that I was good but I was never great and I couldn’t figure out why because I could feel that I had the potential to be great. The issue was practicing. I couldn’t practice. I couldn’t sit in one place and do the same thing for hours and hours, I just physically couldn’t. My mom taught me to sew around that same time and I did have the patience for that but didn’t recognize it at the time. Really anytime I was making something I could be at it for hours. Once again, never really gave it much thought. Let’s jump ahead a bit…… ADD wasn’t a thing when I was a kid, especially because I wasn’t hyper or a problem child. I was a good student, I had to try hard but my parents were pretty hardcore about being educated so I would put in the work. So I managed to go to college and get a degree in engineering but I never really liked it, it was just something that I could do. In fall 2011 my mom passed away and a week later my daughter was born. Not being able to grieve the loss of my mother lead to some bad things happening and eventually about a year later I lost my job. This prompted me to get professional help and it turned out I had ADD. I trialed a few medications but once I landed on one that worked it was like a whole new world opened up. “This is how people feel all the time?!?! They can like figure stuff out and learn things?!?!” To make a long story short I got a great new job around the same time that I’m actually good at, I started focusing on my drumming and actually got quite good at that too. A few years later I started to dabble in wood working while remodeling our laundry room, just making some plywood cabinets with poplar face frames and doors, nothing crazy. It turned out nice because I was able to take my time and learn and figure things out. That lead to a master closet remodel, then to a small walnut table for my buddies RV all the while growing my shop and learning more and more about how to make things and how wood works.
In the end I realized this is what I should have been doing since high school and with that comes a lot of regret and fighting off negative thoughts about the past and what I “could have done”. HMR is the realization of a dream I didn’t know I had until I was mentally able to find it. Now that it’s found I hope that it will one day succeed.
Cheers,
Garrett
